Talk Feel Heal

Living in spirit doesn’t mean you have to be “good” with everything and everyone. It simply means you have to honor yourself and what’s right for you. Some people wonder “WHY” I do certain things in my life or, “WHY” I don’t do certain things. It’s because I choose! I choose authenticity over anything less.

“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”~ Maya Angelou. When you’re clear with yourself, you can see things around you with clarity. Choosing to let people go from your life isn’t always easy. Each passing person in our lives is meant to teach us about ourselves. In those given moments, we are actually student AND teacher. It’s up to us to accept the lesson. Otherwise, that type of person will continue to show up over and over in our life.

There was a time I believed if I fought for the relationship and could remain standing till the end, it proved my loyalty. My very best girlfriend once said to me, “it’s ok to let go… sometimes we grow out of people and they no longer fit in our lives.” Since then, I’ve learned staying in a situation that does not serve you doesn’t make you loyal! It just means you may need to love yourself enough to walk away.

intention |inˈten ch ən|
noun
1 a thing intended; an aim or plan
• the action or fact of intending

As I’ve been writing my book, my steps/chapters are Fear, Intention and Power. They all go in order….We must first recognize our fears. The exercises I have created help to discover and release fear of it’s restraint over us. Second, setting proper intention behind any action creates specific energy and power. Third, now that we’ve removed fear (through the exercises), acknowledged and set intention behind our desires (discovering our WHY), power is generated.

Life is about intention. When our intention conflicts with our desired results, we go in circles or find ourselves hitting dead ends.

Every time you make a decision to act or speak, be honest with yourself. Think about “why” you are doing what you are doing. Does it align with your desired result? Are you operating from an authentic, painful, or manipulative place. Each has it’s own energy which manifest different results.

Growth means when something doesn’t feel right, taking a deep breath and looking within. It is so easy to shift responsibility to an outside source or victim, rather than owning our shortcomings or mistakes. When we are on a path of living with integrity, it is only human to make mistakes. How quickly you realize or don’t realize your mistakes, will determine your experience and resolution.

When we are connected to spirit; owning our issues becomes easier. We consciously remove the Ego from our day to day experiences and decisions, allowing us to sit within our authentic selves. This is where we are truly home with spirit and self.

At one time or another, we all try to avoid seeing a situation for what it is….what can you resolve right now by taking a deep breath, looking within and accepting responsibility?

How is it that we can be in a room full of people and feel completely alone? Feeling as if we are the only one with a secret, a love we’ve lost, a deep emotional wound. Walking down a hallway with people passing, briefly making eye contact and feeling completely isolated.

Growing up as an only child I always felt alone. I would beg my mother to adopt a sister, just so I had someone to talk to. My parents divorced at a young age and I idolized my father. While my mother worked, I was left with babysitters until I could stay at home alone. The truth is; I raised myself. My father would visit on Sundays and as months and years would pass, there was one very specific lesson he taught me, (whether a blessing or a curse)….I was taught to never depend on anyone other than myself. He taught me this by not being available for me or standing for me in times of crisis with my mother. Although this was a very painful process, I taught myself to look inward. To trust myself and my instincts. The knowledge and information that came to me was so clear because I could only hear my own voice. It came easily and quickly as if the words were flowing through me without thought. Until…..I allowed the voice of negativity and judgement into my life. I became stifled and no longer trusted myself. This happened when I would seek the approval of others to validate my existence. Initially, it was in elementary school and I was striving for the attention of a group of popular girls that passively bullied me. I remember it like it was yesterday. By the age of 10 and in the 5th grade, I finally shifted back into myself, and lived in a space completely within me. It was like magic…when I stopped caring and worrying, everyone else became aware and wanted my attention. When I turned 16 and fell for a boy, the approval shifted back to an outside source and no longer within myself. He was strong, handsome, intelligent, a football player, and made me feel like I was the only girl in his life….and then, became abusive.

The interesting dynamic is from a very young age, there was a part of me I kept separate and quiet. I had vivid dreams. These dreams would somehow give me information or knowledge that I wasn’t aware I needed, however, I needed! I began trusting this part of me again and realized these dreams were giving me clarity into situations. When I would expose a situation in my life I would have no reason of knowing; I was portrayed as crazy. At the time, “Time” was my enemy. I desired 6 months to fast forward so the pain would pass and the truth be revealed. Ultimately, this has served me in my life. Within the last decade, I learned to be nicer to myself and learn my lessons quicker.

So what’s my point? You are not alone. You are one of millions, billions and trillions of us with stories. Close out the noise, listen to yourself and trust. Your voice is the only one the matters. It’s the inner you and the higher self of you that is all knowing. Ask for the insight and guidance; it will not fail you.

Begins at a very young age. “Don’t touch that”, “you’re going to fall and hurt yourself”, “if you say that, you’ll embarrass yourself”, don’t spend that, we don’t have enough money”.  Although, these are very important lessons to teach young ones, these thought processes carry into every stage of our lives; adolescence, young adult hood, adulthood, middle age and then into the geriatric stage of life until we are finally dust, never having conquered the illusion of Fear.

Now mind you, there is another type of fear that is innate. This fear is instinctual, you can call it intuition, a sixth sense, your inner voice saying “PAY ATTENTION RIGHT NOW”! This type of Fear is a gift, this is NOT the one I am referring. The Fear I am referring to is unwarranted, hinders your ability to clearly see, handicaps your ability to move forward; a curse.

As a young child and learning to understand our surroundings, we are taught to be fearful before we can rationally process information.  “So you fall, get back up and try again!” How about, “say what you feel and allow your voice to be heard” rather than keep your feelings inside, shameful of how you feel, only to be heard by yourself. These are simple, debilitating things we learned and begin to unconsciously teach, which limits our children and those around us from living with fullness and freedom.

Growing up with these small limiting thoughts, grow into larger, more debilitating internal dialogue set on repeat, and spoken to ourselves on an unconscious level in the background of our mind in our daily interactions. We believe these things that we say to ourselves…sitting alone having coffee, driving to work, these thoughts have been controlling our behavior all of our life because we haven’t paid enough attention to be present in the moment, and redirect our internal voice.

The first step: Brain storm and write out your limiting beliefs, what you have been told from a very young age which has carried into this very present moment. Your fears of failure; the negative experiences that caused you to fear trying something again. A fear of falling in love, fear of success….then put them in statement form beginning with  “I can’t…, I’m afraid…, I’m not worthy of…., etc. These are limiting beliefs and statements.

Once you have written these old beliefs down, The second step: Take those limiting beliefs and turn them into power statements. “I CAN, I CHOOSE, I WILL, I AM WORTHY, ect…”.  Once you have them all written, sit back and read them out loud. Every time you read a statement, breathe in and absorb these new statements. Say them every morning and every night. Things will quickly begin to shift around you. You will stand taller, you will be happier, your surroundings will seem brighter, all because of a few words that begin to adjust your internal voice and dialogue.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela

We wonder if we are worthy of love or will love ever find us. We may punish ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made in our past relationships, and wish we had an opportunity to do it over again. God gives us opportunities each day to embrace love, show love and receive love. Passing a smile to someone walking by, or giving a compliment to another. Buying a cup of coffee for a co-worker or sharing a hug with someone. Listening to the birds singing at sunrise or a maybe watching a sunset at dusk. These are many opportunities to experience the exchange of love.  Or next time, share an “I love you” with someone you love.

Often times, we are held back in life by something unseen, unaware of the roadblock in our lives. This “thing” that feels like an invisible cement wall is hindering our view, our perception, our reality, our path and most importantly, our happiness. It’s planted root and becomes larger each day, somehow enabling a feeling of safety, while we watch life pass us by.

It appears through excuses, hesitation, argument, resistance, broken relationships, lack of intimacy, unhappiness, and the list goes on…  Is something hold you back from speaking your mind, telling your boss what you really think, doing what you love, or even better, fully giving yourself to the person you love?

The only way to eliminate fear is to walk through the smog and trust the process. To acknowledge it and know that walking though the door of the unknown, is far more rewarding, than playing it safe.  Watching your true happiness skate by slowly kills our spirit because we choose not to take a risk. With risk offers an opportunity for change, an opportunity for growth and true happiness. What are you willing to risk today?