A client wrote Dear Rebecca I’m having difficulty…

A client wrote: Dear Rebecca, I’m having difficulty in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have had some issues over the last year. He’s not the best communicator and I sometimes try to force the issue, in hopes we can talk. Every time I want to speak to him about our relationship, he pretty much evades the subject. I’m always left guessing.

In love and confused.

4 responses to “A client wrote Dear Rebecca I’m having difficulty…”

  1. Dear In love and confused,

    You are not alone. When love is mutual, it is a power beyond measure! We have the ability to convince ourselves we are in love, when we simply, just want to be loved.

    When we are in love, we are exposing our soul. When we are loved back, it’s an acknowledgement of our love (Thich Naht Hahn). What if I told you, we teach people how to treat us? Yes, we also teach men how to treat us. You might ask, how? Well, by allowing certain behavior in our lives. The very first time we allow behavior that makes us feel sad, inadequate, alone, shameful, etc.. simply enables it to continue. It only ends when we respect ourselves enough, naturally eliminating behavior that does not serve our spirit. This raises our internal vibration, attracting like minded people.

    My suggestion; shift your mindset. Rather than trying to approach your boyfriend every time you need to speak. Take responsibility for yourself, share your thoughts and feelings, acknowledge your heart and LISTEN to your inner voice. Share without blame and own every word that you speak. It’s only then, when we sit in own our truth, that the door begins to open….all you need to do is walk through. When love is mutual and unconditional, your journey will be together.

    Try this mantra by Thich Naht Hahn:
    “Dear one, I am truly here for you”.
    Repeat in a state of meditation for 10-15 minutes, which joins body, mind and spirit. This opens the pathway of love in your heart, keeping the flow of energy in your spirit.

    Rebecca

  2. Dear Rebecca,
    I feel so much turmoil in my life right now. I’m having this problem with a friend who has come in and out of my life over the years and I realized, I don’t think I trust her. There’s this feeling inside of me I just can’t shake. It doesn’t feel good to be around her. When I spoke with her about my concerns, she made me feel like she’d do anything for our friendship, and reminded me how much she’s done for me. Well, yeh, we did things for each other, and I always thanked her. I’ve always praised her, told her when I disagreed, and encouraged her to pursue bigger, better things in life. I never spoke about her behind her back, or tried to use her words as mine. Just recently, someone who doesn’t know what I’m feeling or the situation, told me about this “idea” my “friend” shared with her. It was MY IDEA!!! I shared this idea with my “friend” a few months ago, that I thought of 3 years ago, and NOW she’s actually told people she “came up with this idea”! How would this person know about this idea because I never told her. I was really careful who I shared my idea with and now she has the scruples to say it’s hers. What kind of a friend does that? That’s really devious and I’m not sure what to do. Do I confront her?
    Please help.

    Stacy

    1. Dear Stacy,
      I have compassion for what you are going through I myself have gone through this with a friend. It is many layers, like an onion. So let’s address each layer. First, the feeling you have regarding her needs to honored and respected. There is a reason why you don’t feel good around her. You should not feel bad for this. Accept this feeling without judgement. It is important to allow your higher self to have a voice in your life. We are too quick to dismiss a feeling without honoring it.
      Secondly, when we enter into discussions about what we have done for one another it is a symptom of one or both are feeling unappreciated and fearful. When you friend felt the need to tell you what she has done for you she is operating from a space of fear verses love. Give some thought why would she be operating from this space. You may find the answers you are looking for there. As far as her stealing your idea, again she doesn’t believe in herself enough to come to you and ask permission to share in your idea. Be careful to not allow others to move you out of operating from a space of love and understanding. You need to remain in this space in order to honor your higher self. Be careful to not allow others actions to define your own actions. Confronting her from a space of love can be a beautiful action but confronting her because your ego is bruised can turn into ugly real quick.
      Create a space for your own healing by asking yourself what it is that really bothers you. Address that within yourself first. This will help you understand your own emotions about the situation as a whole. You may decide to gracefully move this person up and out of your life. Sending love and light to you as you move through this process.

      1. Dear Stacy, I agree with Sena. I also understand what you are going through. it’s important to break it down into smaller pieces or as Sena says;”an onion”.

        Remember, people who do things hurtful are most likely coming from a place of fear. Fear takes on it’s own life force! They may not even be aware of this themselves. It typically has nothing to do with us directly.

        Please share with us your experience and how you are coming along.

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